LONELINESS IS BLISS, NOT CURSE

The greatest lesson life can ever teach you is when you are alone. When everybody is against you. You feel the whole world is against you. Because, for some reason, you think you did something bad or you did something different or you did too well in something and now no one wants to be your friend anymore. Even worst, when everybody decides to leave you when you need them the most. Those people who were laughing and cheering with you when everything was alright, leaves you when they see you in trouble. Your family do not understand you when you tell them you feel alone and depressed. Or you do not want your family to worry about you so, you don’t tell them at all. You struggle with it alone. The thorns inside you puncturing you heart and it hurts like hell but you can’t talk to anyone about it. When the person you loved the most decided he/she don’t love you or when you realise they were fake to you all this while and you realized all this while, it was not real. So many things can make you feel so alone, helpless and you wish you didn’t have to feel this way because every bits of it hurt so bad. You cannot do things you love to do like you used to before. Life sucks. Loneliness will always be part of human life. Even if it’s not now, in future, you might end up feeling lonely and broken for something. Because life is full of ups and down. Life isn’t always going to be a smooth sail.

In the Netflix series ’13 reasons why’, Hannah Baker says “You’re going to tell me this one’s no big deal, but let me tell you about being lonely. Humans are a social species. We rely on connections to survive. Even the most basic social interactions help keep us alive. Statistics prove that even the subjective feeling of loneliness can increase the likelihood of premature death by 26%. If it sounds like I am quoting from a school textbook, I am. Too bad no one bothered to read it. And let me tell you, there’s all kinds of ways to feel lonely.”

I can’t agree more to Hannah Baker. ’13 reason why’ is the only series that showed how I feel and it is the only series that ever spoke my mind. I hope no one has to end up dead like Hannah Baker just because the world is too cruel.

Loneliness is terrible. I wish no human have to feel it. But many people I know consider loneliness as bliss. Is loneliness really a bliss? Well, it’s a bliss if you try to befriend it rather than look at it as the worst thing that ever happened to you. I myself still in the process of converting my loneliness into bliss. Well, loneliness can save you from so much of drama. When you keep your circle small, you go through less drama. You can save yourself from whole lot of hypocrisy, jealousy, backstabbing and a lot of other awful things people can do to you and you can do to people. It stops people from doing all the mean things to you that have brought you to this state of loneliness in the first place. No one can make you feel lonely and depressed if you had stopped it from happening in the first place by keeping your circle a small and a quality one. Always remember, It’s the quality not quantity. There is no use of large number of people as your friends yet all are fake and stabbing behind your back. So, well in this case, loneliness is indeed a bliss, isn’t it?

Loneliness is a process of self-discovery. When you are alone, you suddenly have all the time in the world to discover who you really are. You take up something in order to fill in all the time you have and you might discover your passion or hobby or even try things that you never tried before. All those time you wasted being with fake humans now is filled to do something you truly enjoy. Now, that’s the journey of self-discovery! You can even use this time to plan and organize all your goals and dreams and take steps to fulfill them without any distractions, discouragement and dramas. Think or plan something that excites you. Things that excite you will never make you feel empty or lonely.

Always remember. It’s never easy. Overcoming loneliness won’t happen in a blink of an eye. It takes a lot of hard, effort and you might even fail multiple times and it will make you feel like crap because you are back to where you started. But, you must not stop. You must not let it win and step over you. Overcoming it is a process which requires you to take baby steps in order to overcome it. So, it won’t be easy. In life, nothing is easy. If it’s too easy, it won’t last That why, YOU SHOULD NEVER GIVE UP. Promise me you will talk to me if you feel loneliness is taking toll on you. Will you promise? Believe me, we are in this together as I am too in the process of overcoming it.

 

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DON’T LET THE LOVE AND HURT EAT YOU.

Humans are complex being emotionally. We let things to take control of us. Things that hurt us the most. Nothing is more hurtful than being in one-sided love or being cheated on. Nothing hurts more than knowing that the other person did not feel the same about you. One sided expectation kills. The love turns into hurt and eventually starts eating us away yet we still hold on to it because we want the good feeling that it once gave us and to be honest we do not know how to live without it anymore.

It kinda sucks to see people posting about their relationships on social media and you wonder why can’t find someone who truly loves you unconditionally and why do you always end up getting hurt and heart-broken. There were people whom I have known begged their partners not to leave when the partners chose to leave. It’s hard and it hurts.

Well, how to stop this emotional attachment? How do you stop yourself from falling for the wrong person and getting your heart-broken? How to detect a fuckboy right away? Come on, let us all be honest. We have all been in love with a fuckboy who either used you, cheated on you or was not serious about you at all but you were too in love that you did not realize all the fuckboy signs he was showing all this while and then you got yourself hurt. Well, let me tell you how to stop this. ALWAYS TRUST YOUR INSTINCT. I feel instincts are a gift from God. Instincts are warnings from God or whatever higher power you trust that you are stepping into a shit hole. They can do remarkable things to you. One of it is it will give you a clue on someone. When your instinct tells you that he might be a fuckboy, leave him right away. Fuckboys always leave their trail behind. He will give off some sort of clue that he is one without realizing it. Most of us will choose to ignore it thinking that ‘ Oh, I don’t think he is like that. I am totally overthinking’. Nope, sister! You are wrong! He is like that! Don’t let that love blind you. Don’t let that heart lock your brain inside a sound proof room. Listen to your brain. I know its hard but you have to.

It’s easy for me to say. It hurts badly. You feel extremely depressed because you are disappointed with everything, You keep asking yourself what did I do wrong? And you keep blaming for yourself for what had happened. You feel mad at him at the same time you think you have lost what means a lot to you. I just want to tell you that its okay to feel hurt. You are allowed to feel whatever that you are feeling but trust me that you are worth it, no matter what and you don’t have to prove to anyone that you are worth it. If he can’t see it then it’s his loss because he is too dumb not see how amazing you are. Let karma do its job. One day he will feel what you feel. He will be treated as badly as how you were treated. So, sit back, relax and let karma do its job.

Please allow yourself to heal. Take all the time in the world to feel whatever that you are feeling. Eventually time will heal everything. I don’t know when but trust me you will heal. Allow yourself to be yourself again and start loving yourself before you fall in love again. Go out there and explore the world.

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Do things you love to do. Watch your favourite show, read your favourite book, eat your favourite food. Now is the time to even step out of your comfort zone and try out something that you have been afraid off or something that you thought were impossible to do. You don’t have be tough on yourself and lock up your heart in order not to feel hurt again. Always believe that you are absolutely worth it, no one can love like you do. Trust me, any guy who us in love with you is lucky to have you because you are an amazing lady. After a while when you have got over him and you have moved on, you will look back at all those moments and laugh at yourself. ‘Like seriously, I cried for a fuckboy? What was wrong with me?’  And before you fall in love again, always remember my advise, TRUST YOUR INSTINCT. And walk away when you see the first sign that he is not into you. Walk away even when it hurts because trust me it will save you a lot of hurt later.

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KINDNESS IS RARE

Kindness. Such a beautiful word isn’t it? Kindness comes in so many ways and forms. Its inside everybody. We all have some kindness inside us that we show others in million ways. Human beings are created to feel both sympathy and empathy that are important in contributing to the act of kindness. Our brain has a center that is specialized in feeling and expressing empathy towards each other. Unless if you are a remorseless predator like a crocodile. Then you do not feel any empathy. There is a reason why the term ‘crocodile tears’ is invented.  Crocodiles cannot feel empathy. So, shedding crocodile tears mean that you are just faking your empathy also known as faking your cry.

Okay, let’s get back to our topic.   Kindness is noble. But where is the kindness these days? I am not saying that kindness has been vanished from the face of this earth. It exists still. But it is so rare. It is so rare that being friendly, being nice or even being helpful is often mistaken for being creepy, flirty, sly or having bad intentions. All this bad perception towards a person’s kindness have turned this world into a very lonely place. Do you realize it? More people are quietly suffering from depression because we have all become stone hearted, we refuse to listen to each other and we refuse to support each other through tough times because we are afraid to be kind to each other as we are so afraid of being judged as flirty or creepy.

We are afraid of being used and most importantly we have become selfish and we simple do not care anymore.  I often hear people say ‘ I was there for her the whole time when she was going through a rough patch, but she was not even there for me when I needed her. I’d rather mind my own business next time than poking my nose into somebody else’s business and being their shoulder to cry on because no one would be there for me when I need them.’ Can we for one moment stop judging that everybody is selfish and no one would be there for us? Can we for one moment be there for somebody without expectations and looking for anything in return? If you have watched the Netflix series ’13 reasons why’, you would have realized that if one person, just person was kind to Hannah Baker, she would not have died. So many people were around her, yet everybody failed on her. And recently the death of the K-Pop13rw_110_00573r

star Kim Jong-Hyun who committed  suicide due to depression have put us all in shock. Depression and loneliness is real. I strongly believe that kindness, love, support and companion are strong remedies to cure depression. And guess what?  I heard people around me heartlessly commenting on his death. I can say that these are the group of ignorant and unknowing people sharing their unwanted opinions whenever a celebrity commits suicide out of depression. ‘Dude, I wouldn’t die if I was him. He was rich. He just didn’t know how to live his life with all that money.’ So, money and fame earn you happiness? Dude, let me tell you. YOU ARE SO WRONG. We didn’t not know the dark side of Kpop industry until his death. He was worked up due to busy schedules. He barely had slept. The pressure was unbearable. So much was expected of him because of his celebrity status and we forgot that he is a human being too.  If you have watched the series House MD, Dr House says, ’almost dying changes nothing, but dying changes everything’. It’s time for us to change. Do not wait till someone dies. Its time to act. Its time to be kind.

Being kind and looking out for each other do not cost a single cent, isn’t it? The change begins with you.